PriscillaPriscillaPriscilla
I know that you probably expect some sort of reason for why I’m telling you what happened, but I just don’t care. I guess I just need to know that someone is listening, even if what I say has no real meaning. What I need to hear is that everything’s alright. That everything will be better tomorrow, even though (1) nothing is really wrong, (2) I don’t really care about what’s happening, and (3) tomorrow’s gonna suck no matter what. I guess I’m just trying to get through another day.
Anyway, I had just started school and I was sick and tired of it already even th
hate.i'm spiraling into the worst hatred i've ever had. i hate myself, and i hate every thing around me. i just wish that i could get rid of it all. the end of the world would put me into an everlasting bliss. i'm falling into an unknown world and everything i love is stolen from me. my best friend is a bitch for not being there for me, and my worst enemy's neck will be in my hands in five minutes, and my psychotic rage isn't noticed by anyone. i hate everything around me, and if i try to lean on someone for support they try to fuck me over, so i cuss them out and it ends in another rage. i see everyone standing still politely one seconhate.
lost.i opened my eyes and all i saw was blood and vomit. i could feel myself dying and i lay there, limp. my eyes blur, so i wipe them and now they're just a wet blur. i don't remember why i awoke or where i was for that matter. i try to make it out but my head is pounding so loud that i can hear it, and then i realize that it's knocking, and i'm pretty sure that i'm in one of those one person public restrooms. i clench the dirty toilet seat and pull myself up. i try to stand, but my legs are numb, so i grab onto the railing and search for the sink. the pounding comes again, and i look at the door through the mirror, then i look at myself and i dolost.
puke.i'm on the chair, i think it's noon, but it's difficult to tell with the blinds drawn shut. i stare at the static on the screen, and ignore the bits and pieces of food splattered around the floor. the antenna on the t.v. is too cliché, but it's there. the apartment is infested with ants. they crawl out of everywhere, die everywhere, and i hardly notice. the apartment smells like a variety of things. mold and the stench of rotting food (which could explain the maggots crawling on the half finished chinese food boxes from months before) urine, feces, and vomit- most of which emanate from me and the reclining chair i sit in.puke.
i
J------ is balanceI am an agent of chaos.J------ is balance
I am hot water and a long dress, unwanted touches and pale flesh. I am me. I am you. I am her. I'm the youth old men miss bad enough to take it in the only way they know how. I am dusty fabric. I am the olive drab of his eyes, the apple to his arrow. I'm a trophy; I'm ashamed.
There are images that keep me up at night; thoughts that spread through my mind in a way that can only be compared to blood through water-- contaminating, dangerous, everywhere.
(I am always right.)
I hear voices, word
LOOK, FOOL--"LOOK, FOOL— I LOVE YOU." —the little girl screams (and shouts and sobs), but she's not a little girl anymore, if she's old enough to love you like this. Love you with her clear, fierce gaze and fists balled at her sides while you're backed against a wall six lonely feet away. Love you with angry tears rolling down her cheeks like molten everything she's ever wanted which is you, you, oh god, you. Pan to the sidelines, where her two friends watch and bicker and mock like, "this is love?"LOOK, FOOL--
If this is love, then (the two onlookers don't want to be in love, their h
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ART Is Resistance...
6 Deviation Comments
4 Deviant Comments
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Do you have any sort of IM?
My username is tsbandit.
10 pageviews!
Sweetness.
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